I thought they let us out too easily.
The war's over.
It's over. I saw it on television.
I have to sell my house.
The war is not over.
I saw it on TV.
That's what you hired me for.
The war isn't over until I say it's over.
This is my picture. This is not the CIA's picture.
You think you're in a tight spot now?
Try making The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Three of the horsemen died.
Hear what he's saying? Three of the horsemen died...
two weeks before the end of principal photography.
This is nothing.
This is just Act One, "The War."
We really do need an Act Two, so we work.
Act Two.
You know what it's like?
The Japanese. In the caves.
- Go on. - Okinawa.
They didn't believe the war was over.
We have a guy who doesn't believe...
We have an American serviceman.
A brave American serviceman is left behind.
A hero.
I can't believe it. What was I thinking?
We had a war. We forgot the hero.
You can't have a war and not have a hero.
It's like we sent a Christmas card...
and left out the... What do you call it?
- Fruitcake. - There you go.
Let's work.
We got a guy who's left behind, so...
This is terrific. This is lucky this happened.
He was left behind, just discarded...
like an old shoe.
That's good.
What's good? What did I say?
- Shoe. - Old shoe?
It's just instinct.
Get me the Pentagon...
a list of people in all military special programs.
"Left behind like an old shoe." That is good.
I want to talk to Johnny.
What is it?
The war is over.
We're going to need a new song.
It should be a song about a shiny shoe...
a black patent shoe...
a good old shoe.
I was on my way to get drunk.
You get drunk, but I need a good old shoe song.
A ballad of loss...
- Want to help me? - Redemption.
Loss and redemption is very good.
Shit. What key do you want it in?
I don't know keys.
People here are depressed because the war just ended.
Please give me a new song.
I got him.
King, Pentagon.
Take it.
I need a list of military special programs.
Bottom of the ninth.
They don't know who they're playing with.
They don't shut down our picture.
You people gonna be long?
Otherwise, I'll put away the equipment.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I think I'm supposed to be writing a song.
What kind of song?
Is there anybody there named...
Schumann?
- Schuster? - Schumacher.
I got a great idea.
Old shoe, new shoe.
Daddy had a hound dog...
used to call him Blue.
Follow me 'round...
stick to me like glue.
His favorite thing to play with...
used to be a good ol' shoe.
Wait a minute. Used to be.
You hit that 16-16.
Well, I wish I had a woman...
who was half as good and true.
Anybody here know Morse code?
What you gonna do?
Give me the fax.
Sergeant William Schumann, U.S. Army...
serial number 2131284262.
Good ol' shoe...
Here's the deal.
Good OI' Shoe.
Whatever you walk in...
he will get you through.
He's in a sweater...
and he's...
We drop him behind enemy lines.
He's trapped.
The sweater.
- In the sweater. - Good.
Is there a way we can make it sound old and scratchy...
with, like, a hiss?
With an old label.
I see where you're going.
Stand up straight and tall...
the way he taught you to.
I'll write a speech.
I'll help you with the speech.
The president reveals that William Schumann...
was trapped behind enemy lines.
This is good.
Heartfelt.
Touching.
People will weep.
Soul of a good ol' shoe.
He might even get to heaven...
on the soul of his good ol'...
shoe.
Here's the president's speech.
Put this in the Library of Congress.
Folk music section, 1930.
Right away, please.
Get it in the Library of Congress now.
Oh, God.
Who's seeing the CBS guy tonight?
Tonight, you remember some song from the folk song days...
about a good old shoe.
Tonight?
You're with him watching the president's speech...
What if he's busy?
- Lure him. - What are you saying?
I don't have to be your confessor, darling.
Tell him you've got info on the sex scandal...
it's on your conscience.
He'll drop whatever he's doing.
This is a shitty business.
It needs no ghost from the grave to tell us that...
but, Lord willing, eight days from now...
I'm gonna take you into the second term.
Wait till you hear the speech.
The 303 speech. Great.
Where's that Fad King?
I'll get him.
Could we go now?
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
How are they doing on Sergeant Schumann?
They're working on him, they're finding him.
Good. It's working.
It's all happening. It's taking place around us.
It is in the works. It is being addressed.
We are being proactive.
We are going out with what may be the finest example...
Get me an update on the army, the Pentagon.
Get this guy Schumann.
Have him standing by.
I gotta tell you, I see a lot of glum faces.
Please don't be disconsolate.
This is politics at its finest.
This is where the rubber meets the road.
We've got a leader going out tonight...
to 95 million American homes.
He's gonna turn this thing around.
You think this is tough?
I was 4 months into production on The Song of Solomon...
found out I didn't have the rights.
Turn it up. It's our spot.
Tough? This is nothing.
Will you look at that shit?
'Cause you don't change horses in midstream.
Don't change horses.
This speech is good.
We're kinda locked into it, Mr. President.
For the future of our families...
The music. Where did they get that?
- Pain in the ass. - What?
He won't do the speech.
What do you mean?
What choice does he have?
He won't do the speech?
He says it's corny.
It's what? It's corny?
Of course it's corny.
We wouldn't have him say it if it wasn't.
It's not a question.
This is the center for rest of the thing.
Don't tell me it's corny.
We're locked into the speech, right?
We're locked in.
We are playing way past this.
We are past this.
This is what I need.
Get me 30 secretaries and put them in an office now.
I need to see the president.
I need 5 minutes.
Know what this reminds me of?
Years ago, when I first went out to Hollywood...
they said, "It's too theatrical."
I was from the theater. Everything was over their heads.
He thinks it's corny.
Don't tell me it's corny.
Tell him I'm comin'.
My fellow Americans, I thank a merciful God...
and I am sure each and every one of us...
will thank that Supreme Power...
whatever we conceive that power to be...
that peace is at hand.
The threat of nuclear terrorism has been quelled.
Mr. President, I'm using a little more projection...
because I think this speech needs a little umph.
Bear with me.
Beautiful.
Thank you so much.
That was so moving.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
I felt very much at home in there.
Simple quirk of fate.
I could have gone this way.
It's all a change in wardrobe.
Was it too much?
I'll tell you.
You did it.
You jumped in there...
and saved the thing when the thing needed saving.
It wasn't too much?
Personally?
Maybe it was.
The president doesn't have to say it that way.
It's like Plato once said.
It doesn't matter how you get there...
as long as you get there.
He said that?
What is it exactly you do for the president?
My fellow Americans, I thank a merciful God...
and I'm sure all of us will thank that Supreme Power...
whatever we conceive that power to be...
that peace is at hand.
The threat of nuclear terrorism has been quelled.
We are in contact with the Albanian premier...
who assures me...
and this government credits his assurances...
his country does not wish us ill...
Know any Latin?
I, Claudius. That's what I know.
I need a Latin motto for the patch.
The 303 patch.
... but by a designation number, 303.
A member was left behind what were then enemy lines.
I can only say to those family members of Group 303...
whose members are, I know as I speak...
gathering to comfort you.
To the parents of the missing man...
no effort will be spared...
to find this brave man and bring him home.
We'vejust received this photograph of Schumann...
held by a dissident group of Albanian terrorists.
I don't know how many of you know Morse code...
but could you bring the camera closer?
You'll see his sweater is worn.
It has been unraveled in places.
Those places form dashes and dots...
and those dots spell out a message in Morse code.
That message is, "Courage, Mom."
He got the message through.
Not bad for government work.
Having a good time?
Haven't had this much fun since live TV.
To the men and women of Unit 303...
to my fellow citizens, I say, "Courage, Mom."
I have informed Albania that we will not rest...
until the safe return of Sergeant Schumann.
I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname "Old Shoe."
Wasn't there a folk song called "Old Shoe?"
Do you remember that? Something like...
I don't know. I can vaguely remember it.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Good night and God bless.
Trump that, Senator Neal, you Howdy-Doody-looking vontz.
As we reported earlier, U.S. Serviceman Willie Schumann...
remains missing behind enemy lines...
It's all thinking ahead.
That's what producing is.
It's like being a plumber.
Do your job right, nobody should notice.
When you fuck up, everything gets full of shit.
... symbol of the military team...
Sergeant William Schumann, the "Old Shoe."
Let's line up the president for the Peace Prize.
Our job ends on election day.
Come on.
Just for the symmetry of the thing?
That's right.
If Kissinger can win the Peace Prize...
I wouldn't be surprised if I'd won the Preakness.
But our guy did bring peace.
But there wasn't a war.
All the greater accomplishment.
Where's the money...
where's the tie-in with throwing away shoes?
Who pays you for that?
You throw away shoes. What are you gonna do?
Buy new ones.
We have some powerful new friends...
at the International Association of Shoe Manufacturers.
You guys sure get around.
Fad King is my hero. Want to go first?
Sure.
Attaboy.
History, Connie.
Those are ratty shoes.
That's why we're flinging them away.
You want to try some? Go ahead.
Attaboy.
Do it again.
Go ahead. Have a ball.
Watch this.
Go on, tell your friends.
This is interesting.
I havejust been handed this. Something just discovered.
A 1930s recording, part of the folk song collection...
Of the Library of Congress...
and a fitting song, if I may say so, about Shoe.
Schumann is the military soldier...
who's been left behind enemy lines...
Jim, can I get a word with you?
Would you like to comment on Albania?
There is one thing I'd like to say.
This is to the Albanians that have this man.
I mean this from the bottom of my heart as one of your race.
I didn't know Jim Belushi was Albanian.
The search for Willie Schumann continues...
As soon as we land, I want a reflexologist.
Male or female?
The White House wants to know about...
the Congressional Medal of Honor.
- What about it? - For Schumann.
Wait a minute. We got 86% in favor.
We bring him back tomorrow, charts don't go down.
I don't want to tell them how to do their business...
but why don't they do it after the election?
Makes more sense, and it'll help them more.
When are you bringing him back?
King, show him the thing.
- It's not done yet. - Show it to him.
Talk about enlarging the market. Tell him.
Here it is. Artist's rendering of the memorial.
The memorial?
That's the memorial of the fallen.
Of the Albanian campaign.
- Lovely. - It's better than lovely.
This guy made a deal with Governor Kneehigh...
Senator Leahy.
You should see the granite you have to put in this thing.
Got a site picked out and everything.
The beauty part is...
guess who retains the merchandising rights.
Show him the clock?
Got it as a clock.
Lovely.
- Let's go. - When's Schumann coming back?
Getting him right now.
I need his neck size.
I think it's 171l2.
Thinking 171l2 is not good enough.
I'm an artist, not a factory worker.
What did he eat behind enemy lines?
Birds, snakes.
Bullshit. He ate tiny cheeseburgers in tin foil.
Pull a string, they heat themselves.
We call Burger King, Johnny Rockets.
We get the Shoe Burger with cheese and 303 sauce...
"Behind enemy lines or anytime."
That's the slogan.
I got the copyright on the Albanian kitten thing.
I'm gonna call Nike, get Rodman to dye his hair.
We'll have a sneaker... "Air Leopard."
... a high school basketball game last night...
between Montgomery Bell and Blair Park.
Students, during the game...
in spontaneous moment of sheer patriotism...
threw their tennis shoes on the court by the hundreds,
just for the Old Shoe.
Bring him back. William Schumann...
There's no business like it.
Demonstrations are springing up all over the country...
as Americans show their patriotism.
You ought to get them to run that inaugural speech by me.
Inaugural speech? I don't know.
The White House staff won't give up that one.
Come on. Let me close out the thing in style.
I've come to feel it's my thing.
You take ajob, and many times, it's just ajob...
Hell of a ride.
Isn't it?
You take the bitter with the sweet...
or the sweet with the bitter.
What's that expression?
... feeling good about the economy.
That's why we're voting for the president, Ed.
What do you think?
Bob, my mind wasn't 100% made up, but now it is.
Don't go changing horses in midstream.
Absolutely.
Who needs surprises these days?
For an economy you can rely on...
Fucking amateurs.
Pity of it is, two more days, and we bring it back home.
Knock wood.
Who's gonna know?
Who's gonna know what we did?
Pride of ajob well done, Stan.
It's the pride of ajob well done, but it's more.
It's the gratitude of your party and your president, right?
- Is that the thing? - Indeed it is.
Dean City, Oklahoma. Army special programs.
Tell 'em to bring Schumann to the plane.
We'll bring him back and stash him in the hospital.
Call the plane. Tell me where to pick him up.
I bet you're good at chess.
I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move.
We'll call you.
I'll do the same in His great name...
if you have courage, Mom.
I can always feel your love.
Send, and I'll receive.
Units of 303, the Defense Department...
confirmed early this morning, Albanian time...
stormed the mountain hideaway near the city of...
freeing a tired but happy William Schumann.
A high White House source confirms...
that he's expected in Washington tomorrow morning.
How's that?
When we touch down tomorrow...
Big Bird meets Schumann at the airport?
Big mistake. You got to bring him in by stages.
Big mistake to reveal Schumann before the election.
How so?
Sweetheart, Schumann is the shark.
Schumann is Jaws.
You have to tease 'em.
You don't put Jaws in the first reel of the movie.
It's the contract, sweetheart.
The contract with the election, whether they know it or not...
is vote for me Tuesday...
Wednesday, I will produce Schumann.
That's what they're paying their seven bucks for.
Know what I mean?
Whatever.
Everybody's gotta learn.
Any business.
You take the fruit of 40 years...
hard lessons, mistakes, and you call it wisdom.
That's the truth.
End of the day, just when you know something...
time to go home.
You got decades in you now.
You got decades left in you.
Yeah, but...
What could I do to top this?
The 37th Psalm.
I'll do the same in His great name...
if you have courage, Mom.
You see her? That was real tears.
We were gonna give her those drops.
- She cried. - Really?
- She cried real. - It looks it.
Pray for me...
and the USA.
Pray they never use the bomb.
What are you going to do after this?
They owe you big.
Ambassador to this or that, whatever.
Ambassador to what?
I don't even like to go to Brentwood.
That's what I want.
That's my reward.
That's the payoff.
You want to go to the Inaugural?
Might if I was asked.
This here, Schumann and us...
Look at that. King Kong and the trainers.
This is it.
I'm standing with this picture of Sergeant Willie Schumann.
He's become known to Americans simply as the Old Shoe...
This is gonna be a masterpiece.
Giving them what they want.
... his Group 303 and left behind in enemy territory.
Here at Andrews Air Force Base...
they prepare for the return of Willie Schumann.
Sergeant Schumann, if I may, welcome to history.
Sergeant Schumann, I'm Ames.
Somebody named Brean?
Right here.
Sign here for me.
Captain, you want to take her up?
There's heavy weather back east.
What do you think?
6 to 5 and pick 'em. You want to chance it?
If it'll fly, let's fly. People are waiting.
A child at the airport breaks through the ranks...
runs to Old Shoe, rubs meat on Schumann's cuff.
A little dog runs to it. The dog loves Schumann.
He is a perfect war hero.
Perfect.
You cast him.
All right. Book it up.
What's this?
Keys to the manacles.
Oh, my God.
Wait.
What is the trouble?
No trouble at all, ma'am.
Then why is he in chains?
He's in chains because he's a convict.
A convict?
How you doing?
Take a look.
When we asked for special programs...
they gave us special prisons.
Only a one-word difference.
- Has he been in jail long? - 12 years.
Does he have much longer to serve?
What did he do?
He raped a nun.
- And... - I don't want to know an "and."
Why is there an "and"?
He's fine as long as he gets his medications.
And if he doesn't?
He's not fine.
Up there, Captain.
You'd better get us to Washington.
How are ya?
Fine.
Gonna get me back tomorrow?
'Cause, you know, tomorrow they're having beans.
I need a readjustment. We have to rethink this.
Beans!
We're trying to do this thing.
As long as you get me back for the beans.
He's sicker than we thought.
Rush him under wraps to Walter Reed for tests.
If you're gonna keep me out, I'd like to go to church.
You know what I mean?
Are you very religious?
What have you done to me?
All combat takes place at night in the rain...
at the junction of four map segments.
What are you going to do?
He's fine as long as he gets his medication.
Speaking of that, we're gonna need lots of this.
Get on the phone and get it.
You people are looking at this wrong.
If you look at the back story...
the guy is coming back from combat and torture...
of course he's going to be a little fucked up.
He's gonna need help.
Anybody want a beer? 'Cause I could party.
I'm gonna need an ambulance.
We take him the last moment from the plane.
We land, take him from the plane to the ambulance.
Air Force jet lands, we take somebody else from that jet.
What the fuck do I care?
Somebody in a hospital gown.
You get me back for the beans.
'Cause tomorrow's the beans.
'Cause this dog ain't gonna hunt.
He's gonna be fine.
Aren't you, William?
Speaking of which, I have a prescription here.
I want you standing by with a lot of this stuff.
A crate of it. It's...
Anti-psychotic.
The number is V...
This is nothing.
I used to think I was a pharmacist...
the stuff I carried.
With the beans, you can tell if they're puttin' stuff in it.
So you don't have to fear it.
What kind of stuff?
What do you mean, what kind of stuff?
He just wanted to know what you meant.
Did you mean?
- I didn't. - He didn't mean.
- He didn't mean anything. - You meant something.
He didn't mean anything.
Give him another pill.
What the fuck do you mean, what kind of stuff?
Pill, William.
This is nothing. Did you ever shoot in Italy?
Try three starlets swacked-out on Benzedrine and grappa.
This is nothing.
This is a walk in the park.
Who are you?
Who are you sons of bitches?
- Killers! - Just calm down.
Where are you taking me?
Oh, my God!
Sergeant Willie Schumann is coming home.
Schumann's plane should be over the Atlantic Ocean...
making its final descent back into this country.
The White House reported...
he was safely rescued and on his way to American soil.
We're still waiting for his plane...
at Andrews Air Force Base.
A plane that is due to land. Long overdue.
The president is monitoring the situation...
personally and closely.
We will keep you updated as to any developments.
Thank you very much.
Oh, God. What do we do now?
What do we do now, boy producer?
Mister win-an-Emmy, social-conscience, whale-shit...
save-the-rain-forest, peacenik-commie...
fuckin'- hire-a-convict shithead?
What do we do now, liberal, affirmative action, shithead...
peacenik commie fuck?
This is nothing. Piece of cake.
Producing is being a samurai warrior.
They pay you day in, day out for years...
so that one day, when called upon...
you can respond, your training at its peak...
and save the day!
Produce this Schumann.
Produce him, I say...
or, and I don't hesitate to say this...
rank him as just another in a series of broken promises.
This tardy absence of the flight must give us pause...
and in that pause, we should take time to examine ourselves...
Fuck you.
Leave it alone. What did television do to you?
It destroyed the electoral process.
Enough lovemaking. Let's go. Come on.
- Where? - We got work to do.
Come on, pal.
Is it time for exercise?
It's my day in the yard.
Let's get him to the highway.
Think this is tough? Come on, pal!
This is nothing! Piece of cake!
Albanian dissidents...
having somehow obtained a surface-to-air missile...
You had your fortune here.
You were ready to throw it away.
If you got a problem, solve it. That's producing.
Someday when they tell this story...
You can't tell this story.
- Why not? - Somebody would have you killed.
Of course, I know.
Not now. But when they do tell the story...
Nobody can tell this story, ever.
Listen to me. This is what I do for a living.
You can't tell this story. He's not kidding you.
You can't tell this story. You knew that.
The deal was you get an ambassadorship.
I used to have a Camaro.
What are you going to tell? The guy's a nut case.
You would be too if you went through what he went through.
He raped a nun.
What he went through in Albania.
He's doped to the gills.
Where's my little pills?
Show some compassion.
He spent the last 12 years in a military prison.
How are we gonna explain that?
Explain it? Am I worried?
How do we explain that when the world is watching?
Fuck the world. Try a 10 a.m. Pitch meeting...
cooked to the gills, and you haven't read the treatment.
How do we explain he was in prison?
Well, you see, Winifred...
this is where you've never been at a pitch.
His records say he was in prison...
as they say for all the men and women of Group 303...
as they must because of the secrecy involved.
I'm on top of it.
Not sure whether enemy action...
I'm fine. I got it.
Stanley, I told you, I do this for a living.
You do what for a living?
Exactly what do you do for the president?
I lost my wallet. You got any change?
How we doing, boy?
Ready to mix it up?
Is today laundry day?
- What do you do on laundry day? - Laundry.
Stand by to copy this. Just get a pencil.
Down safely.
Produce this Schumann.
Produce him, I say, or, and I don't hesitate to say this...
rank him as just another in a series of broken promises.
Sustained minor injuries.
Flight crew being investigated for possible pilot error.
Transshipped to an undisclosed location.
This deserted runway should be filled with well-wishers.
How you doing? A cold drink?
Schumann was to return to American soil today...
after his safe rescue in Albania.
He looks like me.
... deserves an explanation from the White House.
Wait, we are now going live to the White House.
I have an update regarding the aircraft incident...
involving Sergeant Schumann.
He is down safely and will be transshipped.
We are informed he has sustained minor injuries...
which will require his being medicated for some time...
Bring in the cavalry. Nick of time.
Political shitbirds. Fuck with us, huh?
They don't know who they're playing with.
Purty.
I'm a little concerned about the driver of the rig.
- What rig? - The harvester.
- What about him? - He doesn't have his green card.
So what?
You want Schumann to be rescued by an illegal alien?
We can't have Schumann saved by an illegal immigrant.
Get on the phone. Fly in ajudge.
Get on the phone. What's all this moping about?
Do you have any change?
I like the night life, I like to boogie.
Susie!
William?
Are you all right?
Kickball.
Let me talk to him!
What are you doing?
I think we should...
Willie, where are you going?
Shoester!
Let me talk to him. Shoe, you in there?
I'll kill that son of a bitch.
I have a relationship. You want to talk?
Get you anything you want. You want some beans?
Will that do it, Shoester?
Come on, Shoe!
He's dead.
Wait a minute.
He's not dead. He's alive.
Strike that.
So close and yet so far.
What do you mean?
We were this close.
This is nothing.
This just got big.
Big? He's dead.
We killed Old Shoe.
What is better than the triumphal homecoming...
of a war hero?
Ready!
Lift!
We're gathered here...
with a cross to bear.
The bravest men...
anywhere.
That this great land...
will remain free.
God bless the men...
of the 303.
Side by side...
we know no fear.
Our minds are sharp.
Our eyes are clear.
In the air, on land...
or on the sea...
we're the fightin' men...
of the 303.
Give us this day...
our daily bread...
and leopard skin...
for our head.
That we may fight...
Coffee?
Please.
Looking good.
Bring it all back home.
Lassie barks twice, and it's time to take out the garbage.
Hell of a show.
Hell of ajob.
It's just producing.
There's no Academy Award for producing.
You're kidding.
Where do movies come from if nobody produces them?
They come from people like you.
You just got to take the bitter with the better.
Job's almost done...
knock on wood.
We did a good job.
That's our reward.
You can't save the world.
All you can do is try.
Ain't that the truth?
As we said, the president...
thrust of the Albanian episode to put him over the top.
You could say that, Shirley, but it's not true.
What would be true, then?
You said it earlier, if I may rephrase...
the success of the president in the polls...
As of today, 89% favorable.
Based not on the events...
but on the spin given to those events.
What's the lesson here? Never give up.
You're right.
The show must go on.
Proud tradition.
I am prouder of this than anything I ever did.
You should be.
I want to thank you.
You gave me a good opportunity.
As we said, the president, a surefire winner...
and the campaign, many said, that put him there.
Another great race today, Johnny.
Who you going to ride in the Stakes?
Eddie, like my daddy always used to say...
The message is irrelevant.
The main element we have to deal with...
is that fear is what's driving a lot of people.
Commercials.
The president is a product.
He's the President of the United States at 89%.
Which we're dealing with today.
Commercials.
It's time the American people began to look at that.
Now we're going to take your calls.
The number is 1-800...
Oh, shit.
Stanley, what are you doing?
What am I doing?
I'm going to call somebody.
That's very funny.
I'm going to get these people straight.
You can't do that.
Watch me.
You knew the deal when you signed on.
Come on. Deals change.
Sure it is.
Let's rethink that ambassadorship.
I'm talking London. I'm talking Paris.
A secret account for your extra expenses...
getting laid whenever you want.
Marine guards will salute you.
It's tempting, but I got to answer to a higher calling.
- Art. - Money?
You think I did this for money?
I did this for credit.
You knew you couldn't take the credit.
I'm not going to stand here...
and let two dickheads from film school take it.
Listen to me.
Are you nuts?
Stanley, no fooling.
You're playing with your life.
Fuck my life.
I want the credit.
Know what the New York Times said about my last picture?
They called it "a thrill ride for the ages..."
but they didn't mention the producer.
They talked about the costumes...
but never talked about the producer.
You know what that picture grossed?
Now I'm going to stand here...
and let some limp-dick film-school pansy...
take the credit?
You can't do it.
Don't you tell me that!
Don't you ever tell me that!
I am the producer!
If I didn't step up, you're nowhere!
I put this together out of spit and polish!
Look at that.
That is a complete fucking fraud...
and it looks 100% real.
It's the best work I've ever done in my life...
because it's so honest.
They told me I couldn't remake Moby Dick...
from the point of view of the whale.
$450 million domestic.
I'm not even talking about the video.
I made this lame turkey fly.
I did it... pure Hollywood.
For once in my life, I won't be pissed on.
Do you hear me?
I want the credit.
I'm taking it.
Shit.
He's coming down.
Could I see you a minute? Thanks.
Do you swear to uphold...
the duties and responsibilities...
of a citizen of the United States of America...
to defend her in time of peril...
to defend her from all enemies, foreign and domestic?
Do you make this pledge with full resolve?
Common ground...
and family.
Let's give thanks...
to the 303.
Years from now...
when we are gone...
our children's kids...
will hear this song.
Think how strong...
and proud they'll be.
Grandpa fought...
for the 303.
God bless the men...
of the 303.
Ten-hut!
Present arms!
Turning to the Hollywood page...
famed film producer Stanley R. Motss...
died suddenly of a massive heart attack...
while sunbathing poolside.
Mr. Motss was 57 or 62-years-old...
depending on the bio.
His credits include numerous films...
which America has come to love as old classics.
This just in.
A group calling itself "Albania Unite..."
has claimed responsibility for the bombing moments ago...
of the village of Klos, Albania.
The president was unavailable for comment...
but General William Scott of the Joint Chiefs of Staff...
says he has no doubt we'll be sending planes and troops...
back in to finish thejob.